Hitchin youth charity Phase boss Kieran Murphy on how to help teens deal with 'porn-pandemic'
By Layth Yousif
21st Jun 2021 | Local News
A renowned Hitchin youth charity has been attempting to help give teenagers and parents advice on how to deal with the proliferation of online sexual images described as a 'porn-pandemic'.
The rise of social media channels where images can be shared, the increased amount of free to access pornography straight from a smartphone and sites where users can generate content and be paid for doing so is harming our children says Hitchin youth charity Phase.
The impact of pornography on young people is a silent pandemic that has been spreading for years explains Phase director Kieran Murphy.
"Pornography addiction is something that is growing in our society amongst people of all ages, yet it is one that is often talked about because of the shame and stigma that is attached to it," says Mr Muprhy.
"I am sure we have all been aware of the oversexualised nature of media and advertising in recent years that young people are being exposed to, this for many can become the thin end of the wedge," he explains, adding: "which, coupled with the easy access to hardcore pornography and the dopamine hit that these images can trigger, is a recipe for disaster for young minds.
"There are many issues with pornography, however it can increase the consumers vulnerability to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, as well a terrible amount of shame and guilt that they may feel."
Embrace the awkward
In a bid to combat such issues, Mr Murphy says we all have to 'embrace the awkward'.
Affirm that being curious about sex is good. Ask them where they can get good information, then point them in a safe direction, he says.
"I'm often asked "When is the right time to start the conversation?" the Phase directors explains, adding: "The simple answer is to be guided by them: their age, experiences, and the questions they ask.
"In truth they have been learning about relationships by watching you for their whole life, so they'll know many of your beliefs and values.
"Specific conversations about explicit content may typically begin around nine or 10 years old, but don't necessarily need to be very detailed at that point."
The spread and access to pornography is not going away, the impact it is having on society will only increase, therefore we need to be proactive in helping our teens understand the dangers of accessing pornography, removing the shame and be willing to have honest, difficult and gracious conversations.
Don't be silent
"I was in a hall with 83 students recently during a lesson about the effects of pornography," explains Mr Murphy. "I gave them the chance to comment on the effect it has on young people; I faced a wall of silence.
"I waited it out until eventually one of the boys could take it no longer. He stood up and said "of course we're watching porn, every person here has seen it…we talk about it all of the time, but this is the first time an adult has ever talked to us about it".
"I want to see that change. It can be an awkward conversation to start but, if the alternative is leaving sex education to the pornographers, I'll take the awkward conversation any day."
Find out more about the services that Phase offers to young people, parents and the schools in Hitchin. Driven by their three core aims or Promote, Prevent, Support by clicking here
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